I wish I could punch you in the face.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
oh god the rape fog is back!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
