The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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