what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
