It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
