So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
