ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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