If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
