is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
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