we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
