So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
