i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
my shit smells like andre
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
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