He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
We are two peas in an std pod
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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