'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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