What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
That accounts for only three of the penises
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
