i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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