Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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