I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
