I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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