see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
