Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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