East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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