it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
