Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
