I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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