I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
