shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
