I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
