I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
