About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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