She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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