Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
