She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
