I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
