Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
