Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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