Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
