hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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