i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I just cut my nipple shaving
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
