Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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