It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
