forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
