that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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