so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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