Barsexuality is the new black.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
