these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
