did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
