JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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