We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
