I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
