im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
