I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I need a burrito and a hug.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
